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It’s been a busy week. Despite being very low at the start of it, on Tuesday I got three lots of good news – firstly, I’d lost 1.5lb at Slimming World, which puts me a very close to my 1 stone award (although, after spending half the week with the in-laws, I’ve probably put that back on… everything is tasty up north, I swear) then that very same evening I got an email about a very exciting opportunity next week which means a trip to London! Watch this space for further developments – I’m really excited and I want to tell you all what I’m up to, but I don’t want to spoil it so you’ll just have to wait.
Then, the biggest news! A piece I wrote for Time to Change was published! I was astounded by the sheer amount of wonderful feedback I’ve had, both lovely and thought-provoking. I’m glad that people have read it and seen another side to BPD beyond what they might have seen in the media. My phone was going into overload from all the tweets, comments and emails – it’s probably the closest I will get to being famous! I also got the chance to talk with others with BPD about the difficulties they’ve faced, it’s always interesting to see what we share with this condition and also the differences too. If you’ve somehow missed my bombardments on social media, then you can read my blog post for Time to Change here.
Like I said up there, we spent half the week up north with the in-laws. We managed a trip to Bettys Tea Room in Northallerton which I always look forward to, plus I got my hair cut for the first time in over two years (the last haircut involved a breakdown and some kitchen scissors…) and I got to be surrounded by dogs which is always a bonus. We had to rush back late last night though due to a hospital appointment this morning. For a change, this had nothing to do with my mental health but rather a skin condition I’ve had since I was a kid.
When I was 10 I randomly broke out in hives all over my body and no matter how much I scratched, it wouldn’t go away. Over the years I was told I had solar urticaria (which was utter bullshit, you can’t just point out a condition in a book and say I’ve got it, stupid GP) and I kept it under control with antihistamines. It went away when I was 16, and I thought I’d grown out of it until I was 22 when it returned with a vengeance. There were dermatologist appointments and the vague notion that I had an autoimmune condition, but then my mental health took over and with the antihistamines keeping it under control I had no desire to go back to the epidermal drawing board. But to this day I still get hives if I don’t take my antihistamines, and I managed to get referred to an immunologist through my new GP. Which is where I was today.
The doctor I saw was very lovely, she didn’t patronise me and took everything I said onboard. There’s basically two outcomes she can see as it stands, either I just have very overactive cells that produce far too many histamines into my system and that will be just a weird thing about me. Or, autoimmune condition. Which would be a whole different load of nonsense to deal with on top of my wonky brain. I had blood tests done and will have to wait eight weeks for the results – I waited over half my life for an answer, I can wait a little longer.
I find it amazing sometimes that I am still in one piece. Broken brain, possible broken body… but still alive. And even better, I’m doing some amazing things with my life. This is just the beginning, I hope.